Wednesday, March 27, 2013

To Church or Not To Church.

For the past couple of weeks, Anthony has been asking me what I am going to do for Easter. We talk about what kind of Easter baskets to get the kids, and do we want to have a big dinner, what's the extended family doing, blah blah. Of course without fail, he says "What about church?" Ugh...I cringe at that question. Typically my first response is "yeah, what about it?" "Well do you want to go?" he asks. And this is where I have my What about Bob/The Kings Speech swearing marathon in my head.
It goes something like this..."Hell no I don't want to go to a *#%>!@** church service. Why the !$*% would I put myself through that!" All the while not making any outward facial expressions, I respond with "Nope, I don't"
Interesting isn't it. It's strange, even for me to not want to go to church on Easter. (for the record, I didn't go on Christmas either) I have loved the Lord all my life, and followed Him with my whole heart. I have done many exploits for God. I've preached many sermons in churches, traveled the World taking the Gospel message to those who have never heard, hell even been through Bible School...and here I find myself cringing at the thought of stepping foot in a church building.
Oh I hear the groans and judgements of Christians everywhere....Not go to church on Easter?! That's a huge deal in the Christian Culture. I mean even the worst of sinners goes to church on Christmas and Easter.
So what's happened to me? Why am I at this place? How did I get here? The number one response will be, whether people say it out loud or not, and believe me they've said it out loud straight to my face and behind my back, is SIN. The reason I don't want to go to church is because of sin. Please excuse me while I barf. The last 5 years of my life have been full and overflowing with great loss and heartache that sent me into a spiritual vertigo. Some of it was caused by the choices I made and some of it was just life. It's been a long road, but finally life is starting to come together for me again. I'm enjoying an awesome time of restoration. Everyday I pick up another piece of my shattered life and put it into the puzzle...and it's starting to look beautiful.
The next few weeks, I'll be writing about how I came to be in this place. Hopefully you will enjoy my story, though not easy to tell, I am looking forward to sharing it.
So what about Easter? To church or not to church? Not sure yet, I'll let ya know.


  1. where's the like button?
    super glad that someone can be real with feelings and how they feel in their heart! keep up the good work girl!

    1. also...isn't it crazy how that puzzle can change so much? I know mine has changed a lot

    2. Keepin it real is how I roll Crystal.

    3. Yes it is crazy how much your life ends up being well...not what you expected. The key to that is finding the joy and beauty in the unexpected destinations in life.

    4. I have always felt that way too! I don't want to go one the most crowded days of the year......or buy ridiculous Easter attire. I like to go any other time except the major Christian holidays. :0

    5. Yes can be an overwhelming experience for sure. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I find this particular blog to be quite interesting...and honestly a little bit troubling, but not for the reasons that I know you (and everyone else) are thinking. I think I'm looking at it from a different perspective. First of all let me say to you that I absolutely understand the issue you have with going to church. We've discussed that before. Sometimes Christians are the hardest people to gain acceptance from-even when you're not actually caring or trying to gain it from them. To anyone out there reading this...I apologize and repent to you on behalf of Christians everywhere for all of the judging and finger pointing. We're all a bunch of humans too, you know.
    But my perspective, Keesh, has changed a bit since we have last been able to sit down and discuss the things of God (we should sit and talk of holy things, hahaha). I won't sit here and presume to tell you that you should go to church or not go to church on Easter. Frankly, the history of "Easter" is not a good one and it is bothersome to me. Semantics, I know, but I prefer to reference it as Resurrection Day. That's what it is and that is what is important about it.
    With that being said, this is what I WILL say to you about it. As a Christian, Christ should be honored with your life every day of the year. I do believe that special reverence should be given on this day that we celebrate the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord. That being said, what ARE you going to do for Resurrection Day? How are you and your husband planning to pay reverence and honor to Jesus Christ and teach your children how to do the same? To church or not to church, to me, is not the question. To honor or not to honor seems to be the actual question...but because I know you and I know in your heart you do desire to honor him, here is what my opinion of your true question is: How are you going to honor Christ and teach your children how to honor Christ on this day? A wise friend of mine once preached a sermon that has stuck with me since we were kids...she said something along the lines of "Get over your but(t) and do what God tells you to do."
    I love you girl! We need to spend some time together and catch up on our worldviews. We've always been pretty much the same on that...I bet we still are :)

  3. Tami, I love this and I love you. Thanks for sharing your perspective.